Just To See You Smile
by freedomgal21
Summary: Six months ago, Special Agent Danny Taylor met the girl of his dreams. Now he’s living his worst nightmare. Is her disappearance linked to the cases he’s been working the last six months? Or has the most precious person in the world to him fallen prey to
1. Prologue

Summary: Six months ago, Special Agent Danny Taylor met the girl of his dreams. Now he's living his worst nightmare. Is her disappearance linked to the cases he's been working the last six months? Or has the most precious person in the world to him fallen prey to the hands of a crazed madman? And will he find her in time?

Author's Notes: First three chapters tell how they met, blah blah blah. A little slow at first, but gets better. This is my first Without a Trace fic, so please keep in mind that it is fiction! Thanks for reading!

**Just To See You Smile**

**Prologue**

**---**

The War's End Kiss Bar and Grill was slow and quiet when Special Agent Danny Taylor took a seat at the bar, undoing his tie. It was just after 11 p.m. and the restaurant's patrons were beginning to file out.

Danny nodded at the owner, Ed Shepard, as he pulled the tie from his neck, and smile when the old man approached. "Danny boy, how've you been?," he exclaimed loudly, clasping Danny's shoulder. "You haven't been in here in over two months! I thought you'd finally found someone else's pie that you preferred."

Danny smile and shook his head. Despite the poor mood he was in, the old man could always make him smile. Ed Shepard was a World War Two veteran who named his restaurant after the famous photograph that was taken in New York City in 1945. _"Reminds people of the best time after years of the worst,"_ he always replied when asked about the name.

Ed was actually one of the main reasons Danny stopped here. "Find better pie than yours, Ed? Not possible," he said. "Work has been hectic. Sorry it took so long to show my face again."

Ed nodded and patted his shoulder, as if forgiving him for a great grievance, and said, "I accept your apology." Danny laughed, and watched as Ed's face burst into a smile as the swinging doors leading to the kitchen swung open. "Deirdra, my dear girl!," he exclaimed, waving his hand. Danny looked over at the young girl who had emerged from the kitchen, and watched as she approached. "You take good care of Danny here. Whatever he wants is on the house!" He winked as he walked off, leaving Danny and the girl—Deirdra.

He had to admit, he was a bit taken aback. She couldn't be more than 25, with dark chestnut curls that flowed over her shoulders and the most piercing green eyes he'd ever seen. She smiled as she approached the bar, and Danny could see that her nose was sprinkled with very faint freckles. "The infamous Danny Taylor," she said, smiling. "You're all Ed talks about when some guy doesn't tip."

Danny cocked his eyebrow at her. "Really?"

Deirdra nodded. "Mm-hmm. 'If Danny boy were here, there'd be a twenty dollar bill laying on the counter," she said in a mock-deep voice, laughing. "You're tough for the customers to live up to." Danny laughed as well, finally stuffing his dark blue tie into his coat pocket. "What can I get you?"

"Just a club soda for right now," he said. He sat back on his stool and tilted his head as he watched her prepare his drink. She certainly was beautiful. Her slim figure could easily be seen beneath the brown khakis and tank top she wore, and as she slid the drink in front of him, he caught the scent of lavender. _I just might have found a new reason to eat here_, he thought.

"Anything else," she asked, smiling.

_Sure is a nice smile_. "This is it for now. I can guarantee I'll be having some pie in a minute though." Deirdra laughed again, and Danny stuck out his hand. "Danny Taylor, properly."

She smiled and shook it, her small hand melding easily into his. "Deirdra Reagan, properly," she replied. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

"How long have you been here?," Danny asked, taking a sip of his club soda. "I don't remember seeing you here."

"Oh, I've only been here about two months," she said, pushing her hair behind her ear. She smiled. "Ed took pity on a broke grad student and hired me."

Danny grinned. "Grad school, huh?"

Deirdra nodded. "Yeah. I'm just doing thing until I get my Masters in Journalism."

Danny nodded, not being able to tear his eyes away from her lips as she spoke. "Good field to go into," he said quickly when he realized she had stopped talking.

Deirdra smiled. "What do you do?" He looked at her. "Ed leaves those kind of details out."

He grinned. "I'm with the FBI. Missing Persons Unit."

"Really?" He nodded. "Impressive. Keeping the streets safe, huh?"

He nodded, smugly. "All in a day's work, ma'am. All in a day's work." She laughed out loud and Danny decided right there that it was a sound he could get used to. "Ya know, I think I'll have that pie now."

---

Danny said goodbye to Ed as he left the restaurant and headed to his car, keys in hand. It surprised him how quickly his bad mood had evaporated as he talked with Deirdra. When he had first come in, he had felt horrible. Discovering that Adrienne Fischer, the 10-year old girl who had gone missing three days before, hadn't been found alive had taken a toll on him. He had entered the restaurant with the cries of her parents still echoing in his ears.

Then after talking to the dark-haired bartender…

He could kick himself for not asking to take her out. But as he approached his car and his steps slowed, he saw that he might have a second chance.

Deirdra stood with her back to him, rummaging through the bag at her side. He watched as she slowly looked up and into the car window next to her before slamming her palm against the glass. "Shit, are you kidding me?," she said loudly under her breath, running a hand through her hair.

Danny smiled and walked up to her. "Deirdra?" She spun around in surprise, a blush coming over her face when she realized that someone had heard her outburst. He smiled. "You need a hand?"

She sighed, her breath coming out in a puff of fog in the cold weather. "I locked my keys in the car," she grumbled, and Danny couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, wait right there for a second," he said before rushing to his car. He unlocked the passenger side door and opened it, disappearing inside it for a moment before emerging.

Deirdra's eyes widened as he walked up to her, a metal wire hanger in his hands. "You aren't seriously going to jimmy my car door open, are you?" He just grinned, untwirling the hanger and stretching it out as far as it would go, leaving the end curved. "I thought you were a federal agent."

"Oh, I am," he replied, slipping the hanger between the door and window. "But I was also a teenager once, too." He jerked the hanger up and the sound of the lock unlocking brought a smile to his face. "Abra Cadabra," he said, opening the door.

Deirdra smiled. "Okay, that was so illegal, but thank you so much." He laughed and held his arm out for her to enter. She ducked under it, tossing her bag onto the passenger seat before turning back to him, smiling. "Thanks again, Danny."

He smiled. "De nada." He watched as she got into the car and started the engine, but before she could shut the door, he grabbed onto it. "Can I take you out to dinner?" The words escaped before he could think, and he found himself holding his breath as he waited for her response. He bowed his head to look at her, and saw her eyes widen in surprise, then flash with—what? Hesitation?

"Why?," she asked, surprising him.

He grinned. "Why not?"

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment, looking into his face. A moment later, she smiled softly. "Okay…dinner sounds good. But no funny stuff, got me?" She pointed a gloved finger at him in mock-sternness.

He held out his hands. "The thought never crossed my mind. Tomorrow then?" She nodded, and after giving him her address, he shut the door to her car, waving at her as she drove away. He stood there another minute before walking to his car, a smile on his face.

_Yep…definitely found a new reason to eat here._


	2. Chapter One

Just To See You Smile

Chapter One

---

Danny's hands were stuffed in his coat pockets as he walked Deirdra to the door of her apartment building. The date was over, and Danny almost wished that it wasn't. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had this good of a time with a girl.

He'd arrived at eight and she had taken his breath away when she walked out in a form fitting sweater and blue jeans. They had eaten at this little Italian restaurant, and he couldn't help but grin as he watched her slurp her spaghetti. She'd looked up at him as she wiped her fingers across her lips, a sheepish smile on her face. "This is probably grossing you out," she'd laughed.

He'd merely shook his head. "Not at all. It's entertaining though. But it's not gross. I like a girl with a healthy appetite."

After the food, they had sat and talked for a few hours, and he had felt himself drawn to her—to the way she talked. She used her hands a lot when she talked—an "expressionist" his mom would say. Now, as they approached her stoop, she turned to him and smiled.

"It's a five floor walk up," she said. Danny nodded and smiled. "I had a really good time tonight, Danny. Thanks for the dinner."

"Thanks for the company," he said softly in reply. Leaning towards her, he reached out a hand to push her hair out of her face, but halted when she suddenly flinched. He frowned. "What is it?"

Her green eyes looked up at him, searching his face. And for the first time, Danny caught a glimpse of the hollowness in them. "Just don't hurt me, okay?," she whispered.

Danny's frown grew and he shook his head. "I would never hurt you, Deirdra. I wouldn't even think of it." He caressed her cheek softly as he talked. He leaned in slowly and brushed his lips against hers, gently coaxing her. Finally she kissed him back, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling hers wrap around his neck. All too soon, the kiss ended, and they pulled apart. Danny looked down into her flushed face and smiled. Caressing her cheek again, he said, "I'll stop by tomorrow."

Deirdra nodded, and stood on her tiptoes to brush his lips once more with hers. "Good night," she said softly, opening the door and stepping inside.

Danny nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets once more. "Night, Freckles." He watched as she smiled and waved at him before disappearing up the stairwell. He stared after her for a minute before turning around and stepping off the stoop. _What made her say that? Just don't hurt me?_

As he thought of the reasons, he felt anger boil in his veins, but he pushed it all away. He's find out soon. And then he'd make those shadows in Deirdra Reagan's eyes disappear and never come back.

---

Deirdra jerk awake, groaning when her lecture notes flew in every direction. Who was that banging on her door at…6:30 in the morning? Glaring as she pushed her coverlet away, she groped around for her socks, slipping them onto her feet before padding out of her bedroom. "Oh, someone is in for a world of pain," she growled. Throwing open the deadbolt, she swung the door open and was shocked to see the smiling face of Danny Taylor.

"Morning," he said, that charismatic grin sliding farther across his face.

"Um…morning," she answered, running a hand through her disheveled hair, suddenly wishing she had brushed it before opening the door. "Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here?"

Danny shrugged and leaned forward to plant a kiss on her lips. "I couldn't wait until this afternoon to see you," he replied. He held out his hands, a Styrofoam cup in each of them. "French vanilla cappuccino, right? You don't like coffee?"

Deirdra smiled and took the cup from him, stepping aside so he could come in. "Right. Nice memory."

He smiled. "Goes with the territory." He looked her up and down and chuckled. "Nice PJ's."

She blushed as she glanced down. Garfield boxers paired with a Superman tank top and Hello Kitty socks. She grinned at him, shrugging. "Be flattered. I usually don't bust this stuff out until the third date."

Danny laughed and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. This kiss was even more passionate than the one last night. There was no hesitation, no talking—it was just them. And once more, it ended too soon. It took all the strength he possessed to pull away. "Unfortunately, I'm on my way to work. I just had to stop by and let you know what a great time I had last night. And to ask if you'd go out with me again tonight." She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off. "I already called Ed. He's letting you off tonight—with pay. He said that you're his favorite, he wants you to be happy, so it's no big deal." He smiled down at her. "Come on, Dee. You know you want to."

He watched as a grin appeared on her face, and she nodded. "Fine, I'll go."

He nodded and sighed. "Yep…just can't get enough of Danny boy."

Deirdra laughed and swatted him across the chest. "Get outta here," she said, both laughing as they walked to the door.

"I'll pick you up at seven. Wear comfortable shoes. I'm gonna show you how to really live the China Town life."

"You got it," she said, leaning up so he could kiss her cheek. As he turned to go, she called out his name. Smiling, she held up her Styrofoam cup. "Thanks for the wake up call."

That grin returned. "Thanks for showing some skin. It's a good sight to see in the morning." He winked at her as he walked away, leaving Deirdra to laugh and shake her head. Shutting the door, she rolled her eyes and sighed. Sipping her cappuccino, she headed into the bedroom.

---

"Someone's in a good mood this morning," a familiar voice announced as Danny walked into the bullpen, a grin plastered on his face. He nodded at Special Agent Vivian Johnson as he sat down at his desk.

The older African American woman raised an eyebrow. "Well? Any explanation?"

Danny's smile grew. "None that I'm willing to share."

Special Agent Samantha Spade turned to look at him, her blonde hair flipping onto her opposite shoulder. A smile appeared on her face. "Get lucky last night, Danny?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he asked, spinning around to look at his computer screen.

Samantha chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Well you came at the right time. Jack just slapped us with a new case," she said, indicating the large whiteboard to their left. A glossy photo of an attractive young woman hung next to the words "Andrea Austin" and a file number.

Danny frowned, rising to look closer at the board. "What's the story?"

Vivian twisted her chair around, an open folder in her hands. "Andrea Austin, 26, school teacher. She had a staff meeting at Ridgeway Elementary School the night before last. She didn't show up for work the next day and her car was still in the faculty parking lot."

Sam stood up and approached the board. "Already did a background check on her. No priors, divorced, no children. No reason anyone could think of of why she would run off or someone would take her. This woman is clean."

Danny nodded and glanced around the bullpen. "Jack and Martin?," he inquired about the other two team members.

"Questioning the ex-husband and co-workers as we speak," Vivian answered. "The superintendent sent over the security tapes from the parking lots. Jack wanted you to take a look at them."

At the look on his face, Sam smiled. "So much for your good mood."

---

Danny raced up the stairs towards Deirdra's apartment, cursing under his breath. He was late. The quick shower and change of clothes at his place set him back 15 minutes. Out of breath, he came to her door and knocked. A crash and stifled curse from inside make him smile and he raised his eyebrows when the door flew open. Deirdra smiled at him sheepishly, a towel wrapped around her hair, beads of water still shining on her skin.

"I'm almost ready, I swear," she said, waving him in. "Just give me five more minutes." She rushed towards the bedroom sliding in her socks as she went.

Danny laughed out loud. _Could she get any cuter?_, he thought to himself, finally taking a look around the apartment. It was definitely a woman's apartment. A few clothes lay scattered across her blue sofa. Colorful rugs were placed in various locations on her floor, and a large green plant sat in the corner of the room nearest the window. Framed photos adorned her walls, and he stepped closer to look at them. They all showed important moments in Deirdra's life—her high school graduation, proudly holding up her diploma; dressed as a Celtic warrior, complete with kilt and sword, staring stoically into the camera, a friend at her side; tossing her cap at her college graduation, a smile on her lips.

The sound of footfalls made him turn and he watched as Deirdra emerged from the bedroom, her hair in a ponytail, shoes on her feet. He smiled as he pointed at one of the pictures. "I wouldn't want to run into you in a dark alley," he joked.

Deirdra grinned. "Freshman year of college, Halloween. My roommate and I were going through a Braveheart phase. The phase paint was for dramatic effect."

Laughing, Danny nodded. "Right…you ready to go?"

She nodded. "Yep, just let me grab my coat." She leaned down to retrieve her coat from the couch, and Danny frowned as the back of her shirt rolled up slightly, revealing several crisscrossed scars.

"What happened?," he asked, fingers brushing her back. She straightened suddenly, yanking down the back of her shirt and spinning to face him.

"Nothing," she said, shaking her head.

"It has to be something, Dee," he replied, looking around her.

"It's nothing, Danny," she insisted angrily. "Why are you suddenly being so intrusive?

"Why are you being so evasive?," he fire back, then sighed in frustration at the look on her face. "Look…I'm sorry. Okay? But scars have to come from somewhere. Especially ones like that."

Deirdra looked at him and nodded. "I know. I'm just…I'm not ready to tell you yet." She sighed and touched his arm. "Hey…I'm sorry too, Danny. There are just…old demons. Can we just have a nice night together? Please?"

Looking down into her face, he sighed, giving in. He kissed her softly and smiled. "Alright. You win. I'll let it go." He ran a hand through his hair. "Let's go." Taking a hold of her hand, he led them out of her apartment, his mind once more running through several scenarios at how those scars got onto her back.

And once more, he was infuriated with every one of them.


	3. Chapter Two

Just to See You Smile

Chapter Two

---

"You really don't ever drink, do you?" Deirdra asked as she sat across from Danny, indicating his club soda.

Danny looked up at her, then at her Coca Cola. "You're one to talk." She smiled.

"I never really acquired the taste of alcohol," she said, spinning the straw in her drink. They sat in silence then, the only sound around them being the other people talking and the Latin music blaring from the sound system of the nightclub.

Danny looked at her from across the table. She hadn't said a word about it since they left. Earlier, when he's asked about the scars on her back, she hadn't seemed angry—she had looked afraid. She'd used the anger to cover it, but he had seen that touch of fear in her eyes when she had spun around. But what had made her afraid? WHO had made her so afraid?

"I was an alcoholic a long time ago," he said, deciding to break the silence. "I drank all the time. Missed out on a lot. Even missed taking my bar exam. Screwed up a lot of things. Since then, I've joined AA. I've been sober for 8 years, 6 months, and 24 days."

Deirdra looked up at him. "Well, that would explain it." She dropped her eyes back to her drink. "My father was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, he's not showing much hope of changing."

"What about your mom?," Danny asked, frowning.

"Deirdra looked up, a melancholy look on her face. "She died of cancer when I was four. I think that's what triggered him."

Danny nodded. "I'm sorry." He waited a moment, looking at her. "Is he the one that did that to your back?"

She sighed. "Danny…"

He held up his hands in apology. "Right…sorry. I push sometimes." Taking her hand, he caressed her palm with his thumb. "I promise it wont' happen again." He smiled at her, and sighed in relief when she smiled back. Releasing her hand, he settled back in his chair, taking a sip of his club soda. "Both of my parents died when I was really young. Car accident."

"How young?," Deirdra asked.

"Around eight. I was shuttled around foster homes until I was 18. But I turned out okay." He grinned. "As you can clearly see." She laughed in response, and his grin grew when a familiar song poured out of the speakers. "Come on. Let's dance." He stood up, holding out his hand. Deirdra looked up at him uncertainly.

"Its' the tango, Danny. I can't do the tango."

He smiled. "It's okay. I'll teach you."

Grinning she followed him to the dance floor. "YOU tango? I thought you were a federal agent."

Spinning her into him, he grinned. "I am…but I also know how to wine and woo."

Smiling, she gave in, letting him lead her in the exotic dance. She looked at her feet, listening to his instructions, all the while well aware of his hand firmly planted on her lower back. Finally, she looked up at him, smiling. "I think I've got it!"

Her foot moved behind her and suddenly it bent in the wrong direction, sending pain up her leg. It sent her backwards as she shouted in surprise.

Danny dove to catch her, but tripped and landed on the ground next to her. They both burst out laughing, ignoring the stares from the other dancers.

"So much for having the hang of it," he said, pulling her to her feet.

"Ow," Deirdra moaned between her laughs, shifting all of her weight onto her uninjured foot. "I think this is the end of the evening, Danny."

---

The door to Deirdra's apartment flew open, and Danny led her inside. She hopped on her good foot, both of them still laughing.

"You had to live in a five floor walk up," Danny said, leading her to the couch.

"You had to teach me the tango," she replied with a smile, carefully plopping herself onto the couch. She watched as Danny shook his head and walked to shut the door before heading into the kitchen. He emerged a few moments later, wrapping a dish towel around a pile of ice cubes. He sat next to her on the couch, swinging her legs onto his lap. "What are you a nurse too?," she teased.

That grin appeared on his again as he put the homemade icepack on her swollen ankle. "I know just the basics. I'm pretty sure it's sprained—ice will bring down the swelling."

Deirdra shivered, but she wasn't sure if it was from the ice or the fact that Danny's fingers were caressing her calf. She looked up at him heartbeat thundering in her ears. "Danny," she whispered. He looked up at her. "Why me?" He frowned. "I mean, why did you ask me out? I am such a mess."

He stared at her for a moment before a small smile appeared. "Your smile. Talking with you for that short time, I saw that you had…at least a million different smiles. One for everything that you talked about—everything you were passionate about. And I realized in those moments that I wanted at least one of those smiles to be for when you're looking at me."

She stared at him a moment before leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. She moved until she straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Danny pulled away when he felt her tug at the bottom of his shirt. He looked into her eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She answered by kissing him again, and it was all the assurance he needed.

---

Danny laid next to her hours later, arm wrapped around her bare waist, her back pressed against his chest. Their breathing had finally returned to normal and now they laid in silence, content.

"He got really drunk around their anniversary," he heard her whisper in the darkness, and he tilted his head up slightly to hear her. "My dad. It was always a hard time for him. He got mean when he was really drunk." His fingers caressed her abdomen as he listened, already knowing where the story was headed. "I was 15 when it happened. He just…stormed in, roaring drunk. I was at the kitchen table, doing homework. He grabbed me by the hair and tossed me onto the floor. He tore off my shirt and pushed me onto my stomach." Her voice cracked as she was overcome with emotion, and Danny clenched his hands into fists. "He took off his belt and just…started hitting me…with the metal buckle. Over and over again, until I was bleeding and couldn't scream anymore. And then he just…left. I couldn't move. I just laid there, sobbing. I laid there for three hours before a neighbor let herself into the house to return some mail. She called an ambulance and dad was arrested. But I still went back to him, didn't file any charges. I stayed with him. Right until I graduated."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks now, and her body was wracking with sobs. Danny tried to control his rage before speaking, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. "Why did you stay?"

He felt her shrug. "I guess I felt like it was partially my fault. That maybe if I'd been a better daughter, more supportive…"

Danny turned her around. "Deirdra…it wouldn't have mattered," he said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "It wouldn't. You didn't' deserve it. Any of it. Hell, if I had the chance, I'd kill the bastard right now. No child deserves that. NO ONE deserves it." He leaned his forehead against hers. "It's over now…he's not here. He can't hurt you." He looked into her eyes. "I wont' let him."

She sobbed and smiled at him. He kissed her softly, holding her against his chest until her tears quieted, not allowing himself to fall asleep. Instead, he watched her face as she drifted off to sleep, memorizing every facial feature.

And then he let himself sleep.


	4. Chapter three

**Just to See You Smile**

Author's Notes: Thanks for all the great reviews! They certainly brightened up my day!

Chapter Three

--

Six Months Later

Danny's heart was racing as he and Special Agent Martin Fitzgerald sped up to the curb before the large brick building, slamming on the brakes as the car reached it. Danny was out before the engine was even shut off, racing through the door and up the familiar stairwell.

Up five floors.

The door to Deirdra's apartment was open halfway, and he almost knocked it off its hinges as he slammed through it.

The eyes of the forensics team looked up at him as he stood panting, a look of sympathy on their faces. They knew. But as Danny looked around the all-too familiar apartment, he didn't really give a damn.

The place was trashed.

Papers littered the floor, the chair next to her oak stationary desk was overturned, a glass lamp lay shattered on the floor next to it.

And Deirdra was nowhere to be found.

Special Agent Jack Malone emerged from the hallway, a pair of white latex gloves on his hands. The senior agent met Danny's eyes, and he motioned him over with a nod of his head. Danny dodged around the forensics team and rushed over to him. "Jack," he said, panic lacing his voice. "What happened? Where is she?"

Jack held up a hand. "Danny, just calm down for a minute."

"Don't tell me to calm down, damn it!," Danny yelled, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calming himself. "Sorry….sorry, Jack."

The older man nodded. "It's alright. Just…listen. Alright?" When Danny nodded, he went on. "Her boss called it in. She didn't show up for work after her classes this morning. He said it wasn't like her and got worried, so he came to check on her. She wouldn't answer the door, but it was unlocked. He let himself in, found the place trashed, and called 911. Vivian is talking to him now."

They both looked up when Sam approached, also in latex gloves, holding out a wad of white cloth. "Chloroform," she announced, casting a sympathetic glance in Danny's direction. "From what we can tell, she came home, was going through her mail when the assailant approached her from behind. He grabbed her, pressed the cloth to her face, and she struggles. But the guy still wins out in the end."

Danny ran a hand through his hair. "I told her to lock the door," he said. "She was always in a hurry and would sometimes forget. I told her to always lock the damn door."

Sam exchanged a look with Jack and briefly touched Danny's shoulder. "Danny…maybe it would be better if you weren't here." He only shook his head, the look in his eyes daring either one of them to deny him. Sam sighed. "Okay."

"Danny, when was the last time you saw Deirdra?," Jack asked.

"Last night," Danny replied. "We rented a movie."

"Was anything off about her? Was she scared? Nervous?"

Danny shook his head, trying to remember everything. "No…she was fine."

_"Have a good day?," Danny asked, skimming the back of the DVD case in his hands._

_From the kitchen, he could hear the microwave timer beeping, and the smell of popcorn assaulted his senses. "About as good as a day full of two-hour lectures can be," Deirdra answered, walking up to him with a bowl of popcorn. He reached out and took a handful, popping a few pieces into his mouth as he looked at her._

_"You got a chick flick, didn't you?,' he asked, watching her settle herself onto the couch. She smiled up at him. "I knew I shouldn't have let you pick the movie." He popped it into the DVD player and walked to the couch, plopping down next to her._

_She slid her legs onto his lap and leaned towards him. "You know you don't want to see me wuss out at a horror movie, Danny. It's not pretty."_

_He smiled at her. "Yeah, but it's funny as hell."_

_Deirdra glared at him, reached into the bowl, and promptly threw a handful of popcorn in his face_.

"We watched the movie and fell asleep." He shook his head. "There was nothing off, Jack…not a thing."

Sam smiled. "You actually sat through a chick flick?," she cracked, making an attempt at lightening the mood.

Danny smiled in return. "When a Man Loves a Woman."

She laughed. "Wow. I'm going to have to ask Deirdra for tips. She's got you wrapped around her finger." She gave him one last smile and a touch on the arm before walking back towards the forensics team, handing one of the techs the cloth. Danny stared after her, trying to convince himself that this was all just a bad dream. That Deirdra was just in shower and would emerge any second, wrapped in her furry terrycloth robe, slippers on her feet and a smile on her face.

But the flash of the cameras recording the scene shook him out of his reverie. She wasn't in the shower. She wouldn't emerge in a second, grinning at him as she dried her hair. She was somewhere else; somewhere that Danny didn't know where to look.

Was she hurt? Was she scared? Was she….

He couldn't bring himself to think the last one.

He looked over when Jack's hand touched his shoulder. The older man looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, Danny saw how much his boss had changed over the years. He looked much older than he actually was. His dark hair was graying slightly at the temples, wrinkles framed his eyes and mouth, and his eyes looked as if they had seen much more than what they should have.

And, suddenly, Danny wondered how he looked; if the job had taken the same toll on him.

"Danny, I know this is difficult for you. But just try to keep in mind—you are a federal agent. You have an investigation to perform. I know it will be hard, but try not to let your personal feelings get in the way." He looked around the apartment. "We'll find her. I promise."

Danny nodded at him and looked away quickly. He wouldn't let his colleagues see him fall apart. He had to stay strong—for Deirdra. He watched as Vivian finished her questioning with Ed, and nodded at the old man as he approached. Danny felt his heart tug when he saw his face. Ed's eyes were rimmed in red, puffy and bloodshot. The old man had come to love Deirdra as a daughter, so he knew Ed was just as terrified as he was.

"Danny boy, I'm so sorry," Ed rasped as he approached. He raised a shaking hand and placed it on Danny's shoulder. "It just doesn't seem real. She was fine yesterday afternoon. Being her usual happy self. She even played hopscotch with my grandkids when they came to visit at the restaurant." Tears welled in his blue eyes and his lips trembled. "Who would take such a sweet girl? Who could ever benefit from hurting her?"

As Danny watched the old man finally break down, he tried to answer those questions himself. But all he could focus on was the image of Deirdra, bound and gagged, somewhere that he couldn't find.

--

"Deirdra's a sweet girl. I've never had any trouble with her."

Sam and Martin listened as Martina "Marty" Rindler answered their questions, all the while bouncing a curly haired toddler on her hip. Martina had lived next to Deirdra for the past three years, she had told them. Never once had a complaint against her young neighbor.

"She would watch Josie every few weekends, whenever she thought that I needed a break. My husband ran off with his secretary last year, so Deirdra really stepped in and helped out. Bought groceries for us the first couple weeks, brought over food. Dee was a big help."

Martin nodded, making notes on his notepad. "And did you hear or see anything odd today? Anything out of the ordinary that would explain her disappearance?" He watched as the red-headed woman thought for a moment, and he exchanged a look with Sam. Finally, she shook her head.

"No, sorry. Nothing really different than usual. I heard her come in when she got back from her classes, which was nothing new. She usually stopped by to change her clothes and grab a bite to eat." She smiled. "A banana and Mountain Dew. Snack of champions, she always told me." She shook her head. "Anyway, I thought I heard something being knocked over after that, but I brushed it off."

Sam frowned. "Wait, why did you brush it off?"

Marty shrugged. "Dee knocks stuff over a lot. She's not the most graceful person on the planet. Comes over constantly to borrow a dustpan, that same, goofy grin on her face. And for all I knew, her boyfriend—your partner—could have been there." At their curious expressions, she grinned. "These are nice apartments, but the walls are paper thin. She and Danny weren't exactly the…quietest couple around. You always heard stuff knocking over and breaking when he was there."

Sam and Martin exchanged a small grin before looking back at her. "Has Deirdra had any visitors that you know of? Maybe ones that caused her to be upset or angry?," Martin asked.

"No, she never really had a lot of company. Danny mostly, sometimes her friend Hannah stops by. I don't think she has any family around here."

Sam smiled and closed her notepad. "Thank you, Mrs. Rindler. Please, if anything comes to mind or something happens, don't hesitate to call." She handed her one of her business cards and the two agents turned to leave.

"Hey," Marty called out as they headed down the hallway. They turned to look at her. "Deirdra's probably the best person I've ever met in my life. She's had it rough from what I can tell. I've never seen her so happy as she is when she's with your partner. I just…" She sighed and looked at them. "Just find her…please."

Martin looked at her. "We will, Mrs. Rindler. Thank you."

--

Danny stood in Deirdra's bedroom, staring at the half-made bed. He could see her still, laughing as she made her side of the bed, leaning towards him as he was still half-asleep, grinning as she teased him. Then he blinked, and her image was gone. _Dee, where are you_?

"I think everything in here is fine," Vivian said, coming to his side. "Nothing really looks out of place….you know it better than I do. Anything missing? Anything seem different?" He shook his head, still staring at the bed. Vivian paused for a moment before lifting a framed picture in her hand. "You know, I haven't gotten the chance to meet her yet. She's beautiful though…has a lovely smile."

Danny glanced down at the picture and smiled. "That was on New Year's. She made me wear one of those stupid green crowns and kept leaning across the bar, blowing one of those noisemakers in my face. After the countdown, I threw confetti in her hair. Ed took that picture right afterwards. Dee always said that it's her favorite."

The photo showed Deirdra sitting on Danny's lap in the War's End Kiss, her arms wrapped around his neck. Green and white confetti shined in her hair, and her smile was as big as could be. Danny's lips were pressed against her cheek, the green crown pushed back on his head.

He smiled softly as he remembered that night—the fight they had had before the party, the words that ended it—words that had changed it all.

_"I just don't understand why you won't talk to me!," Danny yelled, standing with his arms crossed in front of the window._

_Deirdra turned to him. "It's not like you tell me everything, Danny. You have just as many secrets as I do."_

_Danny started pacing, frustration evident on his face. "What? Everything you've asked me, I've answered. About my parents, my past, my brother. Whatever you wanted to know, I answered. But since that first night, you won't answer anything."_

_"Danny, what's the point of talking about my father? It's over, it's done. I left, he doesn't know where I am. There's nothing to do about it." She moved around the living room, picking things up off the floor and couch angrily._

_Danny stopped pacing and approached her. "It might be over and done with, Deirdra, but it still hurts you. It still hurts you like it happened yesterday. You don't think I can see that? You're still living with it."_

_"So what if I am?," Deirdra screamed back._

_"I lived with everything that happened with my parents for years, Dee. I kept it all bottled inside, and it was eating away at me. I wouldn't admit it. But it was. Almost 20 years, I didn't tell anyone. It took a suicidal girl to help me finally deal with it. I don't want you to have to wait like that." Deirdra ran a hand through her hair. "If you would just talk about it—"_

_"I don't' WANT to talk about it!" She threw the clothes into a pile on the floor. "I don't' want to relive something I've worked hard to forget about! It's too hard." Her eyes were filling up with tears, but they were only making Danny angrier._

_"Then talk about it, Dee. Get it out. Yell, cry, scream, whatever. I can't help you with it unless you let me in."_

_Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. "I can't let you in, Danny. Not into that part."_

_Danny's face softened at the brokenness in her voice. He reached out and took a hold of her shoulders. "I WANT into that part, Dee. I want to know about that part."_

_She sobbed and pushed his hands away. "I don't want you to, Danny! Can't you see that?"_

_"I do!"_

_"Why?," she screamed._

_"Because I love you, Deirdra!" He froze, watching her face melt. "I love you, alright? I love everything about you. I love the way you….kick your eyebrow when you're trying to be cute. Or how you call them 'bambi's' instead of 'deer.' I love the way you look in the morning, even the smell of your breath." She laughed then, and he smiled. "And I love that you're most beautiful smile is the one that struggles through your tears. I love your compassion…I love YOU, Dee."_

_He waited, watching her eyes search his face. When she walked up to him and pressed her lips against hers, he sighed inwardly, relaxing, and kissed her back. She pulled away and smiled up at him, tears glistening on her cheeks._

_"I love you too, Danny," she said softly. "I love everything about you." She kissed him again, but pulled back quickly. "Except for the breath thing."_

_Danny's face broke into a grin when her eyebrow kicked up, and he couldn't help kissing her again._

The picture began to blur as Danny's vision clouded with tears, and he quickly wiped them away. He looked over at the feel of Vivian's hand on his arm. And when she smiled softly at him, he knew that she had seen—and that it was okay.

--

Samantha and Martin approached him as soon as he came out from the bedroom, Vivian and Jack at his side.

"We talked to her neighbor, Martina Rindler. She said that she heard Deirdra come in this morning and soon after, heard what she thought was something being knocked over, but she just brushed if off," Martin said.

Danny frowned. "Brush it off. Why?"

A smile appeared on Sam's face. "She thought that you might have been here. She claims that you and Deirdra got a little…over enthused at times and broke things."

When all four sets of eyes turned to Danny, he shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. "A man's gotta do…."

Shaking her head, Sam went on. "She also mentioned someone named Hannah who sometimes stopped by."

Danny nodded. "Yeah, Hannah Yoder. She and Dee have been friends since freshman year of college. She's supposed to be Hannah's maid of honor at her wedding this winter. They actually just took a trip to Austin to see Hannah's sister get married."

Jack nodded. "Alright, let's bring her in and see if she knows anything that could be of use."

--

Hannah Yoder sat in the FBI interrogation room, staring at Danny and Martin. Martin eyed her up and down. Short, with short brown hair, a terrific smile, and a body to die for, she was a very attractive woman. But the large ring on her left hand crushed any hope he had. Instead, he got straight to business.

"Thank you for coming in, Miss Yoder," he said, taking a seat next to Danny across the table from her. "I know this must have come as a shock."

Hannah took her gaze away from Danny and smiled softly, nodding. "Yeah…but…I'm not sure what I can help you with, exactly."

Danny leaned towards her. "Hannah, is there anything you can tell us? Anything that might have upset Deirdra? Anyone that's been bothering her lately?"

The young woman thought a moment, but shook her head. "No. She was fine. We had lunch the other day. We talked about wedding plans. She was fine. Happy. She came to help out at the new house whenever she got the chance. No one has really been around her much; nobody was bothering her that I know of." She sighed. "I don't think there was anything off. She'd tell you if there was, Danny."

Martin leaned back, chair creaking. "What about on the trip you two took? Did anything unusual happen?"

A frown marred Hannah's features. "What trip?"

"The trip to Austin," Danny answered. "A couple weeks ago, you two went for Celia's wedding. You were both gone for four days."

Hannah shook her head, bewildered. "Danny, I was in Austin for four days. But I was with Lee. Deirdra never came with us. She gave us her gift the day before we left, told us to tell Celia she's sorry she missed it, but she was swamped with essays and tests to study for. She didn't come to Austin."

The two agents exchanged a look, and Danny turned back to her, shaking his head. "No, Dee said she was going. She packed a bag, told me she'd be back in a few days, and left for the airport in a cab. Said she was meeting you there."

Hannah shook her head. "She didn't go with us. I never saw her at the airport, never saw her at the wedding." She looked at both agents before settling her gaze on Danny's face. "She may have been gone for four days, Danny…but she wasn't with me in Austin."

--

"She lied," Danny said, standing outside the interrogation room after Hannah had left, hugging him before leaving with Lee at her side. He leaned against the wall, both hands flat against it, biting his lip in anger.

Martin jumped when Danny smacked the wall. "Damn it, Deirdra," he said, running a hand down his haggard face.

"Why would she lie to you, Danny?," Martin asked.

Danny only shook his head. "I don't know…I don't know." He was quiet for a moment, a thousand thoughts running through his head, but only one truly gnawed at his subconscious.

Was there someone else?  
He shook the thought away instantly, furious that it had even crossed his mind. Glancing at Martin, he stormed down the hallway towards the bullpen, his partner at his heels. As he approached his desk, he look to one of the rookie agents hanging around. "Addison," he called out. The younger agent straightened and looked at him. "I want Deirdra's credit card history for the last two months on my desk, ASAP." He glared as the agent scribbled it down in his notepad before looking back up at him. "Now!"

Martin watched the rookie jump and rush off at his harsh tone. Looking back at Danny, he shook his head as his partner sat down. "Look, man, I know that this is tough. But…is there any chance that Deirdra might have been having an affair?" When Danny looked up at him, he suddenly wished he had swallowed his words. His partner's face wore a mixture of expressions he'd never seen before—anguish, anger, terror. "I know you don't wanna hear it…hell, I hate saying it right now. But…it happens."

Danny stared at him for a moment before sighing and reaching into his suit pocket. He tossed a small velvet box onto the desk. Martin felt his stomach sink as he picked it up, and he shook his head when he opened it and saw the diamond ring inside. "It's our six-month anniversary next week," Danny said. "I was going to ask her then. I've already made the reservations at the Italian restaurant we had our first date at. I even talked the chef into helping me hide the ring in the dessert. As corny as it sounds, she loved stuff like that." He rubbed his eyes when he felt the sting of tears. "Now…I'm starting to wonder if I even know her anymore."

Martin watched in agony as his partner suffered. Closing the box, he twisted it in his hands, his heart breaking for the friend who—at last—had found happiness.

Only to have it torn away.


	5. Chapter Four

**Just To See You Smile**

Author's Notes: I'm so sorry for the delay!! Finals week was horrendous, and then between work and Thanksgiving…Ahhh! It's been so hectic, and I am such a loser for not updating…but here is the next chapter! Thank you all for your reviews—they always make me smile!

Chapter four

---

"Alright, so this is what we have so far."

Jack walked over to the large whiteboard next to the bullpen, pointing at the timeline that was now written across it. Right below Deirdra's picture.

Danny sat there, chin in his hand. He never thought that the picture of the girl he was in love with—the girl he wanted to marry—would be up on their "Missing Persons" board, let alone having his coworkers digging into every aspect of her life. Of their lives.

"Deirdra had two lecture classes this morning. It's already known that she was present for those. She comes home, get attacked. Now either the assailant was already in her apartment prior to her coming home, or she was so distracted that she didn't hear him come in through the front door. Now the question is: Who is it?"

Vivian sighed. "From what we can tell, she had no enemies. Her neighbors loved her, coworkers. No one noticed anyone strange hanging around, nothing out of the ordinary."

Danny closed his eyes as his coworkers conversed around him. This wasn't happening. He wasn't hearing any of this—assailants, disappearance, enemies. This wasn't what he thought of when he thought of Deirdra. He should he hearing things about a wedding, big house, a yard full of kids. He should be thinking that he couldn't be happier.

He rubbed his eyes with heel of his hands. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes met those of his superior agent, and he saw the concern that was in them. "Danny…why don't you go home?," Jack asked. "We'll call you when we hear something."

Danny shook his head. "No…no, I need to stay. I know Dee." He sighed. "I have to stay, Jack."

Jack stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Alright." He pulled away, walking back to the whiteboard. "We need to talk to her professors, classmates. Maybe something or someone bothered her there. Martin, why don't you head over there?" He glanced back at Danny. "Do you feel up to that?"

Danny nodded, pushing out his chair and grabbing his coat before following Martin out.

Jack, Vivian and Sam stared after him. "How are we supposed to handle this one, Jack?" Sam asked. "He can't possibly stay professional in this. It's not just some strange face of someone we've never met. This is Deirdra." She sighed, running a hand along the back of her neck. "I met her, you know? I ran into her and Danny one weekend around Thanksgiving. I'd never seen him look that happy. And she was…sweet. Polite." She looked up at him. "I agree with her neighbors. I don't see how anyone could have a reason to hurt her."

Jack nodded, twisting the Magic Marker in his hand. "I know." He looked up. "Danny brought her to the office once, when he forgot his keys. They were going to dinner or something. I was leaving when I heard this…laugh. Just this light, soft laugh. She was spinning around in Danny's chair and he was just looking at her. She just smiled at me when I was introduced. I think her smile is what I remember most about her." He sighed heavily, staring after the two departing agents. "I don't know how he's going to handle this one."

---

"Deirdra was a fine student. A bit quiet, but she was always here, always on time," Professor Richard Brown said as he erased the large blackboard in front of him. He put the eraser down and clapped his hands together, white chalk falling to the floor. "Why the inquiry?"

Danny stood there, jaw clenched. Martin glanced at him before looking back at the professor. "She's missing." Brown frowned, his eyes darting between the two agents. "She was abducted from her apartment after her classes today. From what you can recall, was there anyone who caused problems for her?"

Brown shook his head, holding out his hands helplessly. "No. I'm sorry. In a lecture class this size, I don't get to socialize with the students very much. I've only talked to Deirdra on a few occasions when she had questions, and that didn't happen very often. But from the few conversations I've had with her, she always seemed upbeat. She rarely had a down day."

"There was no indication that something was wrong?" Martin asked.

Brown began to shake his head, then stopped short. "Wait…a few days ago I ran into her after class. She was standing outside the classroom, and she was arguing with a young man."

_ Professor Brown tucked his briefcase under his arm as he left his classroom, car keys in his hand. He smiled at the passing students, then frowned as he approached two of them against a wall. He squinted, recognizing one of them._

_"Look, I really need you to understand this, Deirdra," the young man was saying, his hand gripping Deirdra's arm._

_Deirdra struggled against his grasp slightly, anger marring her face. "I don't need to understand it. I just want to be left alone, alright?"_

_"Deirdra?" Professor Brown said loudly as he approached, sensing that the situation was one that needed defused right away. The young man jerked his hand away as he approached, and Brown caught the look that passed between the two young ones. He looked at Deirdra. "Is everything alright here?"_

_Deirdra looked at the young man before turning her gaze to him. "Yes, Professor Brown. Just a little disagreement…he was just leaving."_

_Professor Brown watched as the young man stared at her for a moment longer before nodding at him and walking away. He turned back to Deirdra, a look of concern on his face._

"She simply shook her head and smiled. Told me it was nothing; that it was just a lover's spat."

Danny clenched his fists at his side. "A lover's spat?" When the man nodded, he turned and stormed out of the room, leaving the professor to stare after him, confused.

Martin stared after his partner. "Um…thank you, Professor Brown. If we need anything else, we'll get in touch." He shook the man's hand before turning and walking out of the room, putting his notepad back into his coat pocket. Danny was standing in the courtyard outside of the classroom when he approached him. He came to his friend's side, but said nothing.

Several moments of silence passed before Danny spoke. "I'm sorry, man," he said. "I lost my mind there for a second. Just hearing him say that…a lover's spat. I just…"

Martin nodded. "It's alright, man. I get it."

Danny sighed. "Maybe Jack's right. Maybe I should just go home. I can't be a federal agent on this case. I'm too personally involved."

"Yeah…but, you know, maybe that's what we need, Danny," Martin replied, turning to his partner. "I mean, you know her—her routine, her friends. If you just calm down a little…"

His sentence was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. Flipping open the phone, he brought it to his ear. "Fitzgerald."

"Martin, it's Vivian," the voice on the other line said.

"Hey, Viv. What do you have?"

"We lifted a print from Deirdra's apartment," Vivian said. "We ran it, and it matches the prints from three other crime scenes of the cases we've been working the last few months."

Martin frowned. "The ones that we're at a dead end at? So what, are they connected to Deirdra?"

"We don't know. But the print is an exact match. We ran it through the system, but it came up with nothing. We sent it back to down the Tech. We're hoping they can come up with something. But Deirdra's credit card reports from the last month and a half came in. There's a charge for a round trip airplane ticket. But not to Austin."

"To where?"

"An airport near Hope, Vermont. There's a charge on here for a bus ticket into the town." She was silent for a moment. "The date is the week that she told Danny she was going to the wedding with Hannah. Try to see if Danny has any idea why she would be in Hope."

Martin sighed and nodded. "You got it, Viv. See you in a bit." He closed the phone and looked over at Danny. "Deirdra bought a round trip ticket to Vermont the week she was supposed to be in Austin. She bought a bus ticket to Hope. Any idea why she'd go there?"

Danny stared at him a moment, his breath coming out in white puffs in the cold weather. "Hope, Vermont?" His eyes searched the sky for a moment as he shoved his hands in his pocket. "She's from Vermont. Hope, Vermont. She always said that she hated it."

Martin nodded. "They got a print from her place, Danny." His partner looked over at him. "There isn't a match in the system, but it does match perfectly with the prints that were lifted from the three crime scenes we've been working the last few months."

Danny frowned. "The women? I don't understand, that's completely unrelated to Dee."

Martin shrugged. "I know. But the prints match. Who knows, maybe it's a fluke. They sent it back down to Tech to make sure." He rubbed his hands together. "We better head back to the office. Jack should know about Vermont."

Danny nodded and followed Martin through campus towards the parking lot. As they got into the car and pulled into traffic, his mind drifted to the conversation he had had with Deirdra months before.

_"Hope, Vermont? That's an actual place?" Danny asked, his fingers caressing Deirdra's calf as she stretched out on his couch, her feet in his lap._

_She grinned at him over her plate. "Yeah. Actual place. Not too big, not too small. Very dull." She stuck a spoonful of pudding into her mouth. "I'm happy to be out of there."_

_Danny smiled and leaned his head back, letting his eyes drift over her scantily clad form. She was clothed in only one of his shirts, she sleeves rolled up to her elbows, the length ending just past her knees. They had been in bed all day, and finally had migrated to the couch when she complained of having a sweet tooth. Now they lounged around, her socked feet slightly bouncing up and down on his lap._

_"It's not so unbelievable," she said, smiling at him again. "I mean, you have towns called Hershey, Reminderville, Beaver, Sweet Lips. Why not a town called Hope?"_

_Danny laughed. "Sweet Lips? Reminderville, I'll believe. But Sweet Lips? You're making that up."_

_Deirdra sat up straighter, her smile widening. "I am not! Go get an atlas! Sweet Lips is an actual city in Tennessee. Look it up for yourself."_

_"How do you even know this?"_

_Her smile faded slowly as she leaned back into the couch, putting the plate on the floor. She shrugged. "My dad…when I was little, he'd always pull out this little atlas and we'd name all the cities with names that made us laugh." She glanced up at him. "It was the only time after Mom died that I wasn't scared to be around him."_

_Danny looked at her, his fingers stilling on her calf. A small smile appeared on his face then, and he repositioned her legs so he could lean closer to her. He looked into her eyes and sighed. "Well…I've never been to Tennessee…but I happen to know for a fact that I have the best Sweet Lips sitting right in front of me."_

_A smile crept back across Deirdra's face, and she leaned forward to kiss him once again._

---

Danny and Martin entered the bullpen, shedding their jackets as they came. "Deirdra is from Vermont," Danny said, throwing his coat over a chair as he leaned toward Sam as she sat in front of a computer. "Run through the names 'Reagan' in the Hope area, Sam."

The other agents looked at him as Sam typed, watching as Danny's eyes concentrated on the names that were popping up.

"Tech sent back the print," Jack said as they waited. "It's a match to the other three crime scenes. Andrea Austin, Rihanna Mitchell, and Jessica Powter. All three cases are at a dead end. Somehow the matching print was forgotten in the investigation. None of the girls had anything in common except for close ages. All three had wide ranging careers, from teaching to veterinarian. How Deirdra fits into this all is lost to me."

Danny's eyes focused in on one of the names that suddenly appeared on the computer screen, and he pointed to it. "There," he said. "Frances Reagan." He turned his head to look at the others. "He's Dee's father." He straightened, his body stiff.

"Her father?" Martin asked. "Why would she go see her father and give you a fake story?"

Danny looked at him. "Because I would have gone with her and killed the son of a bitch." He ignored their startled glances and sat at his desk. "She hated him. She had very few good things to say about him."

Sam frowned. "So do you think that her father was the real reason she was in Hope? I mean…if she hated him so much, why would she go see him? She hasn't had any contact with him?" Danny shook his head. "Well, then why?"

Danny sighed, his eyes drifting to the familiar smiling face on the large whiteboard. _Why indeed?_

---

Wa-la! Another chapter! Yay! I'm so sorry if it's completely lame…if I get tons of horrible reviews, I will redo it…as always, thanks for reading, and please leave your opinions!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!


	6. Chapter Five

**Just to See You Smile**

Author's notes: Thanks so much for reviews! Yay! They always make me smile.

Chapter Five

---

_ Jack sighed as he shut his desk lamp off and shrugged into his coat. Another day, another disappearance, he thought to himself. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he left his office, yawning as he did so. He needed a good night's sleep and a stiff drink._

_As he headed down the hallway, a soft, feminine laugh made him frown. He glanced at his watch. It was too late for anyone to still be here. He turned towards the bullpen and saw Danny leaning over his desk, rummaging through the drawers, and a young, brown haired woman sitting in his chair. She was spinning herself from side to side, laughing as she grinned._

_"How do you forget your keys?," she was asking._

_Danny smiled. "Excuse me for delaying the torture of sitting through War and Peace. I'm a horrible person," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm._

_"No you're not. It's not big deal. Not everyone can be as brilliant as me." Her eyes raised to meet Jack's as he approached. The chair stopped moving, but the smile remained on her face. Danny must have sensed the sudden change, because he looked over his shoulder and nodded._

_"Hey, Jack," he said. "I figured you would have been long gone by now."_

_Jack nodded. "I could say the same thing about you."_

_Before Danny could reply, the smiling girl giggled. "Danny forgot his keys. Again." Jack smiled as his agent looked over and glared at her, merely prompting that bright smile to grow._

_"He's been known to do that," Jack said, smiling. "He's horrible at directions, too."_

_Danny's gaze shifted back to him, a look of offense on his face. "Whose side are you on, man?" The girl laughed again, and this time stood up. She barely reached Danny's shoulder. Shaking his head, Danny grinned. "Jack, this is Deirdra Reagan. Dee, my boss, Jack Malone."_

_"Nice to meet you," Deirdra said as she shook his hand._

Jack stared up at the smiling face he had met months ago. That one, short meeting had left a lasting impression on the older agent. Her smile had been so bright, her laugh carefree. And he had to agree with Sam. He'd never seen Danny so happy.

"Jack."

He turned around as Sam approached, a piece of paper in her hand. "Martin and I went back to the campus and talked to some of the students. There were a lot of them who got a good look at the guy Deirdra was arguing with. They said it was so unusual, it stuck with them. They gave a description." She handed him the paper. The sketch showed a man in his late twenties, a well trimmed goatee and a buzz cut adorning his features. He raised his eyes to Sam. "We ran it through the system. His name is William Marx. He was convicted of a couple DUI's a few years ago, but other than that, he has a clean slate. And get this. He hails from Hope, Vermont."

---

Danny stared at the man sitting behind the interrogation room window. He shook his head and looked at Jack. "I've never seen him before."

"Are you sure? He's from the same town as Deirdra."

"Jack…I've never been to Hope. Dee didn't' talk about it. I've never seen this guy before."

Jack nodded. "Alright…I don't' want you in there when we interrogate him." Danny opened his mouth to protest, but Jack held up his hand. "Martin said you went off over her professor's comment. We can't risk that again. You can still listen to it. Just don't be in that room. Understand?" Danny nodded. Jack returned it and headed into the interrogation room as Danny turned back to look, pressing the button under the phone receiver that would allow him to hear the conversation.

"William Marx?" Jack said, pulling out a chair. "Agent Jack Malone. I need to ask you a few questions about Deirdra Reagan."

Marx shook his head. "I didn't do anything to Deirdra. I never would."

"Really?" Marx nodded. "Because we have at least five witnesses who will put you outside her classroom with her, in a heated argument." Jack watched as the man sat back in his chair. "Wanna tell me about that?"

Marx ran a hand over his head, sighing. "I just…I had to warn her."

Danny frowned at his words.

"Warn her?," Jack asked. "About what? How do you even know her?"

"We went to high school together, in Vermont. We…were friends."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Just friends?"

Marx nodded. "Yeah…that's all she wanted. I guess I wanted more…I always have. I mean…it's Deirdra. She's beautiful, ya know? And she was…nice. Nicest person I ever met."

Jack nodded. "What did you need to warn her about?"

Marx leaned forward, his voice taking a serious tone. "About the murders." Danny folded his arms as he leaned closer to the speaker, Jack doing the same inside the interrogation room. "Look….Dee is in trouble. Big trouble. She's missing right? They've got her."

"Who's got her?"

"Look, I don't know who it is. But I do know that two girls who went to high school with us were killed back in Hope. And that three of them disappeared here in New York."

Jack stared at him. "Three girls?" He tilted his gaze the mirror, knowing that Danny was on every word. "All of them went to your high school?"

Marx nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah. They did. And they're missing. With Dee. That's what happened with April and Holly. They just…disappeared. A week later, their bodies were found floating in a river, ridden with bullet holes."

Jack held up a hand, frowning. "Alright, wait a second. What makes you think that has anything to do with those girls or Deidra?"

Marx settled back. "They hurt somebody. Not Deirdra, though. She was just caught in the middle of it all. But the others…they hurt someone…back in school. Matilda." Jack nodded, listening. "She moved there our senior year. She was kind of different, ya know? Closed off. She wasn't from the richest of families, either. Always had old clothes…they never looked bad. They were just old, ya know? Anyway…the girls all gave her a hard time. They were all part of that social clique, ya know? Snobby, prissy…came from big money. Dee wasn't part of it. I mean..a lot of them were friends, but Dee had friends all over.

"They wanted to play a joke on Matilda. Nothing serious, they said. Just something to be mean. They were really mean. They tricked Matilda into coming to an old boat house in the country, near a lake or something. I can't really remember. Anyway, they were going to haze her. Just shake her up a bit. Dee heard about it and went to try to stop it. Talk them out of it or something.  
"She got there right at the end. The girls were all drunk out of their minds, huddled in that boat house. Matilda was on the ground, all curled up. She was bleeding all over, had eggs smashed in her hair, dirt all over. Dee called an ambulance but….it didn't do any good. Matilda was dead when they got there. Asthma attack.

"The girls got booked and all that jazz, but they didn't get anything more than a slap on the wrist and community service. Didn't even get expelled. All because of the money their daddy's had." His voice turned bitter. He looked back up at Jack. "April and Holly were two of them. Andrea, Rihanna, and Jessica? They were the others. Are you going to tell me it's just a coincidence?" He sat back. "That's why I came. I had to warn Deirdra. But she didn't believe me."

Jack studied the man for a moment. "You're still in love with her, aren't you?" Marx was silent. "Alright…stay put. We aren't done with you yet." He rose then and opened the door, stepping out into the hall. Danny was there waiting for him, his face pale. "Danny…we don't know that it's connected."

"You heard him, Jack…how can it not be?" He ran a hand through his hair. "Some psycho is out there, killing the girls responsible…and just because Dee was there, she's part of it too?"

"Look, I don't think the perp knew about her…at least not until she went back home. Back to Hope." Danny stared at him. "Maybe Deirdra talks to somebody down there, mentions something about the hazing. The perp hears. Maybe the perp was in Hope. Hell, he could live there, for all we know, and just commute. I don't know." He looked the younger agent in the eye. "We need to know what happened in Hope, Danny. It might be the clue to all of this."

Danny sighed. "Where are we on the print?"

"No match to anyone in the system. I think we're looking at a personal thing here, Danny. I'll have Vivian check into Matilda, any events that happened around that time in Hope….but we still need to get over there. The only question is…can you handle that?"

Danny stared at him, silently wondering that very question to himself. After a moment, he nodded. "Yeah. I won't do anything to jeopardize Dee, Jack. Don't worry about that."

Jack nodded. "Alright then. You and Martin head out first thing in the morning."

----

Hope, Vermont was a quiet suburb, with the appearance of any other suburban town. Families sat on porches and children rode their bikes. Flowers grew outside of houses and sprinklers twinkled as they turned on.

But the house Danny and Martin approached now was without any of those things. The two story gray house was run down, with an overgrown lawn and ratty patio furniture on the porch. The stairs shifted under their weight as they climbed them. Martin glanced over at Danny before he rang the doorbell. "Are you sure you can do this, Danny?" he asked.

Danny nodded, clenching his fists in his pockets, telling himself that he wouldn't tackle the man to the ground when the door opened. The doorbell echoed throughout the house, and after several minutes, a shadow appeared on the window.

They both stepped back as the door opened, revealing a tall, older man. His broadening beer belly hung over his jeans, and his face showed the signs of years of drinking. Danny knew those signs very well. He also knew the anger very well…this was the man that had scarred Deirdra. That had made her feel worthless and dirty. He felt no pity on the man whose eyes were shadowed and red. He only felt disdain. And disgust.

"Frances Reagan?" Martin asked. "FBI. We need to talk to you about your daughter."

Frances nodded. "William said you'd be coming. Didn't know it'd be so soon though." His voice was raspy, probably from years of smoking cigarettes and drinking. His green eyes—Deirdra's eyes—glanced over at him. "You're her feller, aren't you? The agent? She told me about you." Danny just glared at him. Frances nodded. "You hate me…can't blame ya. You have every reason to." Sighing, he stepped back. "We can talk inside."

Frances led them to the living room—if it could be called a living room. One couch was the only real furniture in the room. Patio chairs were scattered, and a small TV sat on a milk crate against the wall. He motioned for them to sit as he sank into the couch. "How long has she been missing now?"

Martin pulled out his notepad. "51 hours," he replied, glancing at Danny, who remained standing, a deadly glare on his face. "You said Deirdra came to see you?"

Frances nodded. "Yeah. Awhile ago. Just…showed up out of the blue." His voice was soft, and he refused to look either agent in the eye. _He's ashamed to see Danny_, Martin thought. "I hadn't seen my daughter in…God knows how long. Then…she's suddenly there. All grown up." He looked at Martin, and he saw tears in his eyes.

_Frances struggled to undo the lock on the front door, cursing silently at whoever it was that was disturbing him so early in the morning. He pulled open the door and took a step back. It was a ghost, he told himself. His Katherine stood on his doorstep, long brown curls falling over her shoulders, eyes staring straight at him. His heart stopped when he saw that those eyes were not blue…but green._

_"Deirdra…."_

_"Hi, Dad," she said softly._

_Frances shifted on his feet. "What…what are you…"_

_"I need to talk to you," she said, her voice slightly shaking. "Can we go inside?"_

_She looked around as they entered the house, shaking her head. "You've really let the place go, haven't you?"_

_Frances sat down. "Is that what you're doing here? Just came to mock me?"_

_His daughter's green eyes snapped to his, and anger was easily visible in them. "Don't' talk to me like that," she snapped. "You have no right to. None."_

_Frances lowered his head, running a hand through his hair. "Well, what did you come for? I don't see you in almost 8 years…no phone calls…letters."_

_Deirdra crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you think you really deserved them?"_

_He avoided her gaze. "Look…I'm sober, Deirdra. I haven't had a drink in a year. I'm in therapy. I'm looking for a job…I don't know--"_

_"I don't want to hear it, Dad," Deirdra said. "I'm not interested. Too little, too late." She walked towards him, stopping at one of the patio chairs. "I just came to tell you something." He looked up at her, waiting, fearing the attack that had been a long time coming. "I came to tell you….I forgive you."_

_He stared at her, confused._

_"I forgive you…for everything."_

_"How…how can you forgive me, Deirdra," he struggled out. "After everything…I…beat you. I neglected you."_

_She nodded. "Yeah…you ruined my life." He looked away, ashamed to hear it spoken so plainly. "I'm not diminishing that. Not by a long shot. But…someone told me that I have to face it all. I can't keep…fighting it off. I have to come to grips with what happened. And you know what I discovered?" He looked at her. "That it wasn't. My. Fault. None of it was. I spent years thinking…I could have done better by you. I could have…helped out more. Been more understanding. And then I realized that I did the best I could. I was just a kid. I couldn't save you from your downward spiral, as much as I wanted to. I realized that you had to save yourself." She sat down, folding her hands in her lap. "I couldn't do it for you. Just like I couldn't save Mom…but I can save myself. From a lifetime of…bitterness and regret. I realized that I had to come here…come to you…before I can move on to something more. And…I do forgive you, Dad. I really do. I think I know now…why it all happened. How you felt. Why you did what you did. I look in the mirror everyday…and I see Mom. I guess that couldn't have been easy for you."_

_Frances stared at the floor as she spoke, his heart breaking. What had he done to his little girl?_

_"That still doesn't' excuse it, though. Nothing will. But…I do forgive you."_

_He nodded, rubbing the tears out of his eyes this his hand. "I uh….I can't even…I can't even say how sorry I am, Deirdra…for everything. You were my daughter."_

_Deirdra was silent as he spoke, and then her eyes softened. "I know…but you have to forgive yourself. I've done my part."_

_He nodded. "You came home."_

_She shook her head. "No…I didn't. This isn't my home. I've run from it for so long…it's taken me years to find out that…maybe home isn't a place. Maybe it's how you are. Maybe I had a greater need to return to myself that to Hope. You know….sometimes we let go of ourselves in pursuit of what we're not. We go around searching for whatever makes sense, indulging in things that make us feel worthy. But in doing so…I think we lose sight of ourselves. We get lost in our delusions and don't realize that they mean nothing. And so when the busyness of the world suddenly dies away, we realize we're stranded on a busy highway with no way to get back. we have no ride, because everyone else is in such a hurry to get where they're going, and we have no strength to walk because it was all spent on keeping up with the crowd. And that feeling of being so alone is one of the worst feelings in the world..._

_"But…I'm not alone anymore. Because I realized that it was all just smoke and mirrors, and once the smoke cleared and the mirrors dulled…and the illusion faded….I found what I was searching for. Who I was searching for." She smiled. "I'm okay now, Dad…I am. I'm loved. I'm cherished. It doesn't' matter now that you didn't' give that to me. Because there's a Special Agent back in New York who gives me….so much more than I could ask for."_

_Frances watched his daughter's face as she spoke, and he realized that after today…he would never see her again. "Are you happy, Deirdra?"_

_She smiled again, and her eyes shined. "Deliriously so," she whispered._

_He nodded. "Then that's all I need to know." He stood up, and she quickly followed suit. "I'm glad…Dee…I'm glad that this guy treats you the way I should have. I'm starting to realize that I wasn't cut out to be a dad. Not then…not now. I'll sleep better…knowing that you're being taken care of."_

_He walked with her to the door, and looked at her when she turned back to him. "I'm glad that you're doing well, Dad," she said softly. "I really am."_

_He nodded, and shuffled his feet. "Yeah…Me too." He jerked in surprise when she enclosed him in a quick embrace, and for those few seconds, he held on like she was his lifeline. **What have I done?** They pulled away, and Deirdra smiled._

_"Good-bye, Daddy."_

_He nodded. "Bye, Baby Girl."_

_He watched as she walked out the door…and out of his life._

Frances' body wracked with sobs as he looked over at Danny. "Do you know what it's like to realize that you ruined your only child's life…and then realize that you aren't the reason it's put back together again?" Danny stood unmoving as the older man wept. "You'll take care of her? You'll find her…and take care of her?" Danny only nodded, his glare still intact. The older man nodded and wiped his eyes before looking at Martin. "I know I have no right…but please…find my daughter. Find her."

----

Dun-dun-dun! Chapter five is complete….Danny's a hard-ass isn't he? What's going to happen…hmmmm…Let me know how it was…Until next time!!


End file.
